Wednesday, July 3, 2013

My heart is broken

We woke up at about 6:00 this morning and then ate breakfast at about 8. We prayed and headed to the orphanage at 9. I'm having such trouble putting all this into words, so please forgive me if my thoughts are everywhere. It was good being back on the streets of Chenzhou.

We headed straight into a room with some of the bigger kids. We saw Avery, Taylor, and quite a new few faces. We went upstairs to see the other big kids and the babies. Seeing Ray was so good :) I missed him so much! I went over to with Sky and got her to lift her and got a little laugh at which made me pretty happy. I tried to open Sidney up, but she seemed very timid.

I went over to the baby room to find baby Jack and there he was laying on the mat! Melt my heart :) I tried to see how he is doing developmentally and I am actually pretty surprised at how "far" he is coming along. His leg muscles are a lot stronger and he is able to hold himself up pretty well with some of my help. His feet are flat on the ground…so I think that's good. ha He is able to hold his head up but doesn't seem to want to. I've been trying to support his head so he can get used to it like that. Anybody have any suggestions on how to help him in the best way possible?

I threw him up in the air a few times and got some giggles which made me super happy! I love that precious boy.

I went back into the big kid room and got to have some quality time with Ray. He loved having my arms around him and every once in a while he would pull my arms tighter around him to make sure I wasn't going anywhere.

I think at this point it was time to head back to the hotel for a break and lunch. Some of us went to the market and got some water, juice, and oreos :)

Lunch was good and we were all pretty ecstatic to see our beloved steamed bread.

It was time to head back to the orphanage and we went into the baby room. I spent some more time with Jack and we had some giggles and I even tried to help him walk, but he wasn't really catching on. He did kind of scoot with his body, though, which I thought was progress.

After lots of play with Jack I asked one of the nannies to clarify what his special need is. What did they say? "He is a retard. He is 2 1/2 years old and cannot talk."

Wow. That hit deep. I didn't know what to do at this point. Seriously, I was just struck with pain for this precious boy. All I could do was pray for his sweet soul. Pray that he would begin to have that baby chatter. That the Lord would take away his delay.

I headed back into the big kid room for a bit and sat with sweet Sky. She seemed so concerned about something. She had that look on her face and it broke my heart. My prayer has always been that the Lord would break my heart for what breaks his. He did. Precious Sky has broken my heart, along with the other children here. It hurts and it hurts deep.

It was time to go at the point of tears and I was ready. This is hard. It's hard to be back and to see that most of these kids are in the same situation they were last year.

In other news, our bags are still nowhere to be found. Thankful for my amazing mom who is working on it. I am now transitioning between two shirts and two shorts. I think the Lord seriously wants me to learn through this. I felt upset for a bit about my stuff being gone and all our donations. But, we are loving on children who have way less than I do. I think the Lord really wants me to feel how they do…at least as much as possible. Please keep praying, though! We have donations in these bags too!

1 comment:

  1. Hi, This is Shannon's cousin. We are praying for all of you and also your luggage! It is great to see that you are back loving on those kiddos.

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